I just went to my 20th (!) college reunion. 20 years ago, I graduated from Tufts University. I wasn’t in a sorority (there were only 3 when I graduated), I am not currently married, I don’t have any children, and I didn’t really have a lot of close friends outside of my circle of Class of 1997/1998. If anyone had told me 20 years ago that this would be where I was now, I would have sworn, been angry and not believed any of it. For the record, out of my five best friends from my class, only one has children!
I loved most of my time at college, especially compared to high school, where I was bullied for my first two years for reasons unknown and really don’t have any desire to go to a reunion. In college, I went through a few friends, but I had a strong group of friends who pretty much all keep in touch, even if through one person or the other. There may have been a few quibbles and times where people were annoyed with each other, but I really can’t remember any of them. I just remember how much fun we had over the better part of 4 years, and I miss my friends and wish we saw each other more often.
Given that, I never thought not to go to my college reunion!
I mainly talked to my best friends, including our best guy friend and his best friends, who we never see. I always enjoy catching up, and I did recognize a bunch of people. Some looked the same, some looked tired (they say kids do that to you!) and some looked like they hadn’t eaten since they graduated. 
The next day, I had my friends from 1997 (minus one who made the reunion and couldn’t make it), plus some of our besties from the class of 1998 over to my house. I haven’t done a lot of entertaining because I feel like my house is old and needs a lot of updates. I have held off on doing a housewarming party because I felt like I was not there yet. But, I knew that my college friends were dying to see my place, and I was more than happy to have people come to me. Plus, the day was gorgeous.
It was so fun to have everyone over! My friends were so sweet- they brought food, plants and nautical gifts- it was such a surprise- I would have been happy with just them. They were so positive about the house and the decorations (unlike a friend or two from another group who said some not so nice things about my house), and while they agreed that the kitchen, bathrooms and lighting fixtures could be updated, there was nothing but good vibes overall. I really needed that, as I have been feeling really overwhelmed, insecure and frustrated that I can’t afford to do everything that I want to do.
You never have friends like you do in college. Even if you talk all the time, you can’t see each other whenever you want. I took this for granted a bit because my ex and half of my friends were a year behind me. I still take it for granted, and I need to do better.
As time has passed, it’s been harder to get together. I personally am guilty of getting wrapped up in my own life and what’s right in front of me, and I don’t make as good of an effort to see or even talk to my college friends as much as I could. But, I am lucky, because these wonderful people never hold it against me, and when I see them, I love catching up.
I feel happy and safe that I have people who have known me more than half of my life, who I trust and will always be friends with. I hope that they feel that way about me as well.
I have so much to be grateful for, and seeing some of my favorite people reminds me of this- especially in the friend department.
Despite my age, I still deal a fair bit of cattiness in my immediate circle of friends. I also deal with friends moving in different directions, with people giving up on friendships or letting them go by the wayside. These things make me sad.
There is never any of this with my Tufts friends. We just truly enjoy seeing each other!
My boyfriend, who does not have a large group of friends, but rather a select number who he cares greatly for, asked me why I let the dissolution of some friendships bother me so much. “How many really good friends do you need? You only really need a few, if they are true friends.” He’s right.
I am lucky to have a few close friends in my “every day life”, and I am extremely lucky that my group of college friends has kept in touch, with our core working to keep as all connected through one person or the other.
I hope that these girls (and token guy bestie) read this, and know that I will always love them and wish them happiness. Thank you, Melissa, Mandy, Karen, Dawn, Jaime, Lee, Suzanne, Heather, Sara and Matt for hanging in with me, whether through calls, emails, get togethers, a like on social media, etc.
I love you all.
Xxoo, PF
